Exasperated CIA opens UFO to public

THE CIA has turned its extraterrestrial things into a tourist attraction after running out of patience.

‘UFO piloting days’ will be on voucher websites
The agency revealed its genuine UFO and aliens will offer paid-for ‘abduction experiences’, with the aim of recouping some of the $900 trillion it spent on media manipulation, Men in Black and memory erasing.

CIA director Tom Logan said: “Gary McKinnon was the last straw, I couldn’t face sending out another ‘all staff’ email nagging everyone to use proper passwords.

“I mean, why cover it up anyway? Not only does it cement America’s status as the world’s number one superpower, but now we can sell baseball caps and t-shirts, maybe hire it out for hen nights.

“As you’ll discover, the alien enclosure of Area 51 is actually very like a Travelodge, with bored aliens flipping television channels, looking for nudity.”

Roswell alien Xrrydth Cthullyu said: “The actual reason we have been visiting earth is cress.

“Cress doesn’t grow on our planet but we really like it a lot, especially in egg sandwiches.”

UFO conspiracy theorist Nikki Hollis said: “When there was a cover-up I felt quite special and important, but now I’m just some woman who works at Rymans.”



http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/exasperated-cia-opens-ufo-to-public-2012101945753



Must be true, its got a http thingy

wyatt1 wrote:THE CIA has turned its extraterrestrial things into a tourist attraction after running out of patience.

‘UFO piloting days’ will be on voucher websites
The agency revealed its genuine UFO and aliens will offer paid-for ‘abduction experiences’, with the aim of recouping some of the $900 trillion it spent on media manipulation, Men in Black and memory erasing.

CIA director Tom Logan said: “Gary McKinnon was the last straw, I couldn’t face sending out another ‘all staff’ email nagging everyone to use proper passwords.

“I mean, why cover it up anyway? Not only does it cement America’s status as the world’s number one superpower, but now we can sell baseball caps and t-shirts, maybe hire it out for hen nights.

“As you’ll discover, the alien enclosure of Area 51 is actually very like a Travelodge, with bored aliens flipping television channels, looking for nudity.”

Roswell alien Xrrydth Cthullyu said: “The actual reason we have been visiting earth is cress.

“Cress doesn’t grow on our planet but we really like it a lot, especially in egg sandwiches.”

UFO conspiracy theorist Nikki Hollis said: “When there was a cover-up I felt quite special and important, but now I’m just some woman who works at Rymans.”



http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/exasperated-cia-opens-ufo-to-public-2012101945753



Must be true, its got a http thingy

you should watch the conspiracy theory road trip on BBC 3. Its on iplayer.
there was one expert( read nutjob) who claims 25 billion aliens live on the moon, the earth is 11 billion years old and the moon 20billion years old and was manufactured inside jupiter.

That nonsense was too even too much for one of the devotees .

Flap Meister wrote:

you should watch the conspiracy theory road trip on BBC 3. Its on iplayer.
there was one expert( read nutjob) who claims 25 billion aliens live on the moon, the earth is 11 billion years old and the moon 20billion years old and was manufactured inside jupiter.

That nonsense was too even too much for one of the devotees .

Makes you wonder how they are allowed to walk free. I take "experts" with a big grain of salt as you might say.

wyatt1 wrote:

Flap Meister wrote:

you should watch the conspiracy theory road trip on BBC 3. Its on iplayer.
there was one expert( read nutjob) who claims 25 billion aliens live on the moon, the earth is 11 billion years old and the moon 20billion years old and was manufactured inside jupiter.

That nonsense was too even too much for one of the devotees .

Makes you wonder how they are allowed to walk free. I take "experts" with a big grain of salt as you might say.

well the premise of the program is that he takes a group with set views on a road trip and presents experts along the way who present evidence to try and give some more perspective.
the chap who thinks there are 25billion aliens on the moon was supposed to have been ex cia who used to work at area 51 and would tell them that it was all nonsense. He seems to have gone native

you really should give it a go

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01ndm9r/Conspiracy_Road_Trip_UFOs/ and watch the creationist one as well before it expires.

Flap Meister wrote:well the premise of the program is that he takes a group with set views on a road trip and presents experts along the way who present evidence to try and give some more perspective.
the chap who thinks there are 25billion aliens on the moon was supposed to have been ex cia who used to work at area 51 and would tell them that it was all nonsense. He seems to have gone native

you really should give it a go

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01ndm9r/Conspiracy_Road_Trip_UFOs/ and watch the creationist one as well before it expires.

Well after watching that I think they should search the bus for all the screws that came loose. If ET's had the intelligence to arrive here I am sure they would not bother to get in contact with that crowd.