The Mash Guide to Making Money From Your Spare Bedroom

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The Mash Guide to Making Money From Your Spare Bedroom

Post  wyatt1 on Thu Apr 04, 2013 6:00 pm

A SPARE bedroom could cost you £22 a week, so there’s no excuse for letting it lie fallow.

A license to print money
Here’s how to turn that money pit into a cash cow:

Soft play area - Fill the room waist-deep with colourful balls, write the words ‘Fun Jungle’ on the door. Tired parents will queue up to dump their offspring at a generous hourly rate, while in your cafe/kitchen they can enjoy a range of hot drinks and banter about how they’ve completely lost interest in sex.

Museum of Erotic Art - A museum is just some shit in a place. People pay big money to walk around them because staring at inanimate objects is ‘educational’ and apparently not just a more boring, antiquated version of telly. All you need is a theme – ‘erotica’ generally works well because it suggests tits. ‘The age of steam’ is good for the UKIP-friendly, borderline racist grandad contingent.

Drugs factory – Sometimes the oldies are the goldies. A bedroom full of skunk is easy, profitable, cool like on that Breaking Bad show and best of all it’s organic. Pro tip: if busted, say there was a seed mix-up and you were growing lemon basil to be sold at farmers’ markets.

‘Massage’ business - Everyone’s using prostitutes these days: full intercourse with a prostitute is the modern equivalent of lapdancing. A single girl turning six tricks a day will more than cover your costs, and a prophylactic machine in the hall gives you a little walking-around money.

Church of semi-ironic bullshit religion - Inventing religions is popular again and the tax breaks are really eye-catching. Lift a belief system from a 70s children’s science fiction film and then behave like it’s an actual thing. It’ll start as a bit of fun, but within a month you’ll be trying to hit a football with a poker while blindfolded.

Decisions, decisions !!!

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