Only In USA

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Only In USA

Post  Major on Thu Feb 23, 2017 1:03 pm

[size=32]CALIFORNIA[/size]

  • The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.



  • The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.



  • He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.



  • He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.



  • The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.



  • The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.



  • The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.



  • The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.



  • The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training for the nature of coyotes.



  • PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state.


  
  
[size=32]TEXAS[/size]

  • The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.



  • The Governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.



  • The buzzards eat the dead coyote.


  
  
And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.
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Re: Only In USA

Post  blackie7 on Thu Feb 23, 2017 1:20 pm

@Major wrote:[size=32]CALIFORNIA[/size]

  • The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.



  • The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.



  • He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.



  • He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.



  • The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.



  • The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.



  • The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.



  • The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.



  • The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training for the nature of coyotes.



  • PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state.


  
  
[size=32]TEXAS[/size]

  • The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.



  • The Governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.



  • The buzzards eat the dead coyote.


  
  
And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.
Similar things happen here with illegals suing us for everything we cant sue them for MS. crying

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Re: Only In USA

Post  fatbob5 on Thu Feb 23, 2017 5:02 pm

A Great little parable if it weren't for the fact that California isnt broke , the exact opposite, its the most prosperous state and its tax dollars support a lot of other less well off areas
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Re: Only In USA

Post  Flap Zappa on Thu Feb 23, 2017 5:47 pm

I have seen a few coyote's on my travels in america. Once on a golf course in houston I heard a rustling in the bushes and a large coyote hurtled out right in front of me and disappeared into the woods on the other side of the fairway.
Another time in death valley at the golf course there, the lowest golf course in the world by the way, I saw what must have been the most well fed coyote ever, they are usually mange old things, but this one was quite plump and in great condition as he was regularly fed by people playing a round. He also was not scared of people.

You get to see some some great wildlife on golf courses over there.


Another time I was walking along the american river near Sacremento and saw signs warning about mountain lions being in the area. A short time later I found an enormous paw print on the ground and a bit later on saw a large sandy brown animal about half a mile ahead. Cant say it was definitely a mountain lion but it wasn't a dog or coyote, I only caught a quick glimpse of it. It does make you aware of your surroundings when there are things out there that could eat you. This wasn't wilderness either as there were houses all along the bank.

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Re: Only In USA

Post  ALLAKAKA on Thu Feb 23, 2017 6:12 pm

@fatbob5 wrote:A Great little parable if it weren't for the fact that California isnt broke , the exact opposite, its the most prosperous state and its tax dollars support a lot of other less well off areas




 Next thing we know you'll be telling us that all those immigrants who work 16 hours a week and claim every benefit going , are contributing to this country.
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Re: Only In USA

Post  smelly-bandit on Thu Feb 23, 2017 6:48 pm

@fatbob5 wrote:A Great little parable if it weren't for the fact that California isnt broke , the exact opposite, its the most prosperous state and its tax dollars support a lot of other less well off areas

Well then, and I'm sure they will be able to afford to import water when they break away from trump land
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Re: Only In USA

Post  Flap Zappa on Thu Feb 23, 2017 7:46 pm

@fatbob5 wrote:A Great little parable if it weren't for the fact that California isnt broke , the exact opposite, its the most prosperous state and its tax dollars support a lot of other less well off areas
actually it has a massive deficit and would be broke outside of the USA, so those demanding to secede would be shooting themselves in the foot.
Yes they do spend billions on illegals every year but it is those working that foot the bill. If they had spent a fraction of that on the oroville dam 200000 people would not have had to evacuate because the dam was in danger of imminent collapse.

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Re: Only In USA

Post  fatbob5 on Thu Feb 23, 2017 10:19 pm

@Flap Zappa wrote:
actually it has a massive deficit and would be broke outside of the USA, so those demanding to secede would be shooting themselves in the foot.
Yes they do spend billions on illegals every year but it is those working that foot the bill. If they had spent a fraction of that on the oroville dam 200000 people would not have had to evacuate because the dam was in danger of imminent collapse.
California Economy Grows To 6th Largest In The World

http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2016/07/05/california-economy-gdp-6th-largest/
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Re: Only In USA

Post  fatbob5 on Thu Feb 23, 2017 10:32 pm

@smelly-bandit wrote:

Well then, and I'm sure they will be able to afford to import water when they break away from trump land
...
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