Baby Jesus did not eat full Christmas dinner, claims pope

POPE Benedict XVI has debunked the myth that baby Jesus’s first meal was turkey with all the trimmings.

“This is all great, but I’m actually starving now,” said Joseph
The pope’s new book claims that a stable would have lacked basic cooking facilities as well as vital ingredients like stuffing mix.

Pope Benedict XVI said: “Mary would have been too exhausted from the birth to think about wrapping sausages in bacon. And they arrived late at the stable so there wasn’t much prep time.

“Men didn’t really cook back in the day so Joseph wouldn’t have helped. In fact he’d probably have been moaning, ‘Come on, we’ve got the wise men arriving at three, can’t you at least do some roast spuds and gravy.’

“Given the lack of facilities, the most Mary could have managed was jacket potatoes. Maybe the kings brought some salads or a trifle.

“Also Jesus was a baby, and babies don’t really like turkey. I expect it makes them puke. Chances are he just had milk.”

The pope’s book OMG: Snakes, Sodomy and Other Crazy Bible Stories also debunks the famous ‘loaves and fishes’ food myth.

Pope Benedict XVI said: “This year’s V Festival got 60,000 people in a day, and they fed them no problem without any miracles.

“But Jesus didn’t actually use fish, he wanted to keep costs down so he did a vegetarian dahl curry, which also would have kept for a couple of days if there was some left over.”



http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/baby-jesus-did-not-eat-full-christmas-dinner-claims-pope-2012112250010