What's...

Hugh Jardon wrote:Pink and crispy and can do 200mph?


Niki Lauda's ear!

Durham wrote:

First laugh out loud of the day.

Hugh....please have a look at twitter and look at some of the posts from Plentyoffishfails

Some excellent lessons into how to court a lady........

Hugh Jardon wrote:

My pleasure....

Pls don't forget that I have been banned from twatter more times than fat abbot has had breakfasts...

As for courting a lady...I believe that the direct " feed the horse" technique has a lot to offer.

Durham wrote:

Feed the horse.....please do explain!

Hugh Jardon wrote:

Always happy to help those of less experience with the ladies....

Imagine, if you will, that you are stood in front of a magnificent mare and you wish to give her a portion of your oats.
The oats are placed in the palm of your hand, with it being ever so slightly cupped.
As you approach said mare with your  mouthful of loveliness, you extend your fingers downwards as far as your joints and wrist will allow.
Thus allowing the mare to gorge itself on your oats, whilst you empty thee oats into her willing mouth, you can then tickle the beast under the chin.

Durham wrote:

What a toppermost explanation!