Too much work, too much to think about are probably the reasons that lead to the following mistakes and bloopers which were assembled from medical charts!
- The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
- The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
- Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
- She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.
- The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
- Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid. (Long fingers?)
- Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
- A midsystolic ejaculation murmur heard over the mitral area.
- The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
- I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.
- The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
- Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
- The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.
- Healthy-appearing, decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
- The patient has no past history of suicides.
- The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
- Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
- Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.
- The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
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