INDIAN MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

The following is said to be an actual letter which appeared in The Times of India in response to a marriage proposal advert.

It was emailed to me by a friend, a Pakistani who is always anxious to take the piss out of Indians!


Madam,

I am one young gentleman living only with myself in Patna . I am
seeing your advertisement for marriage purpose in the daily
newspaper. So I decide to press myself on you and I am hopping you
will make the marriage with me.

I am the son of my father & mother of agriculture family from inside
Patna . I having no sister and no brother also. I become big in
Patna only. I educate myself in the Zuarilal Himmatlal High School ,
Bezna Road . I am nice and big, six foots tall and six inches long. My
body is filled with hardness why because I am working hardly. I am
playing also hardly. Especially I am liking the cricket. I am a good
batter also I am fast baller. Whenever I am coming running for the balling,
all batters are running everywhere why because they are afraiding my
balls. My balls are bouncing too much high. That is very danger for
them.

I am very nice gentleman. I always laughing loudly at everyone. I am
happy always and gay also. Ladies they are saying I am nice and soft
because I giving respect to them. I am always liking if ladies are
on top. That is how nice I am.

I am not having any bad habits. I drink milk only and no other bad
things. I am not chewing cigarettes or eating gutka paan why because
it not good for all the peoples. So I am not doing so. I am keep
fitting everyday. Morning I am going to jim and I am pumping like
anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can came
and see how I pumping the dumb bells in the jim. And now good muscles
are come outing everywhere.

I am having very much money in my pant everyday and my pant is
everyday open for you why because I am nice gentleman, but still I
am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking my things into
my own hands everyday. That is why I want to press myself on you, so
that you will come and take my things into your hands.

Madam, if you are marrying me, I am telling you, I will be hardly
loving you everyday. If you are not marrying me then I will press
you and press you until you come. I am at your feet and slowing
looking up, with hope. I am waiting very badly for your reply why because I
am stiff with excitement and anticipation.

Expecting good answer and replies to me in the future.

Namaste.

Yours,

Hiralal

Bloody excellent me Lord!

Have a well deserved greenie for making me laugh out loudly!!!!!!

HA HA!

So it's okay to take the piss out of Indians.

Interesting.

Tess wrote:So it's okay to take the piss out of Indians.

Interesting.

I think you'll find that mutual piss taking is something of a national sport on both sides of the sub continent border. Unfortunately it sometimes gets a bit heated...and they both have nukes.

Lord Edmund Moletrousers wrote:

I think you'll find that mutual piss taking is something of a national sport on both sides of the sub continent border. Unfortunately it sometimes gets a bit heated...and they both have nukes.

I wasn't having a pop at you m'lud; bit of tongue-in-cheek, as the piercing cry of 'raaacism' usually follows any joke about anyone who isn't English!

But anyway, seeing as jokes about Indians are okay, I suppose jokes about Pakistanis are too. So:

I got a lift in to work from a Pakistani colleague today, and had to listen to 'Bhangra FM' for the whole journey.

I didn't want to appear racially insensitive and offend his culture by reaching over and changing the radio station.

Plus, I didn't want to accidently detonate the van.

Tess wrote:So it's okay to take the piss out of Indians.

Interesting.

The problem with you BNP type is that you couldn't tell the difference between a good joke and racism. Lack of education, that's what I put it down to.

Tess wrote:

I wasn't having a pop at you m'lud; bit of tongue-in-cheek, as the piercing cry of 'raaacism' usually follows any joke about anyone who isn't English!

But anyway, seeing as jokes about Indians are okay, I suppose jokes about Pakistanis are too. So:



I got a lift in to work from a Pakistani colleague today, and had to listen to 'Bhangra FM' for the whole journey.

I didn't want to appear racially insensitive and offend his culture by reaching over and changing the radio station.


Plus, I didn't want to accidently detonate the van.

A joke is a joke Tess.

The above could have easily been about a muslim guy.

You see racism where there isnt any tut tut.

SEXY MAMA wrote:

A joke is a joke Tess.

The above could have easily been about a muslim guy.

You see racism where there isnt any tut tut.

I see racism where there isn't any! Well done SM, I said the site needs cheering up, and that was the funniest joke of the day.