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Reducing Ones Own Carbon Footprint...

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Durham
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Hugh Jardon
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Post  Hugh Jardon Sat Jun 09, 2012 2:51 pm

I will ensure that I take fewer and more shallow breaths, as I lay next to the pool (private...come on...I'm not bloody lefty) on my grand vacances in Lanza soon!
That should help to off-set the amount of beastly carbon spat out by that beastly plane and crappy hire car!
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Post  Flap Zappa Sat Jun 09, 2012 4:38 pm

don't have kids is the best way to reduce your carbon footprint
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Post  Flap Zappa Sat Jun 09, 2012 5:14 pm

it will also get rid of the crayon footprint as well.
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Post  Hugh Jardon Sat Jun 09, 2012 5:18 pm

Flap Meister wrote:don't have kids is the best way to reduce your carbon footprint


you've been watching QI again....
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Post  Hugh Jardon Sat Jun 09, 2012 5:20 pm

Flap Meister wrote:it will also get rid of the crayon footprint as well.

the crayon footprints aren't too bad.
It's the ones where a toddler has had an explosive shite and it's shot right up its back..down its legs is then walked all over the place..they are a bit of a 'mare!
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Post  Durham Sat Jun 09, 2012 5:23 pm

As i don't believe these lies on carbon.....I make an effort to make my carbon footprint as big as possible

Next I am getting one of those huge American style smokers built in the back garden - they look cool
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Post  Hugh Jardon Sat Jun 09, 2012 5:31 pm

Durham wrote:As i don't believe these lies on carbon.....I make an effort to make my carbon footprint as big as possible

Next I am getting one of those huge American style smokers built in the back garden - they look cool


Whey hey!..... NICE!

We currently have both a gas and a charcoal BBQ...both which I light with a blowtorch.
When they both go titts up that would be high on my list.....

Sorted the range....simply got a piece of right angled brushed ali profile...and used it to create a false front on the current raised plinth.

God...I'm bloody good, though that was the better half's idea!
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Post  Tess Sat Jun 09, 2012 5:34 pm

Hugh Jardon wrote:

the crayon footprints aren't too bad.
It's the ones where a toddler has had an explosive shite and it's shot right up its back..down its legs is then walked all over the place..they are a bit of a 'mare!

Tell me about it! my granddaughter did that, only it ran down her legs into her wellies. Me and my son did a runner and left my poor daughter-in-law to deal with it.
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Post  Hugh Jardon Sat Jun 09, 2012 5:45 pm

Tess wrote:

Tell me about it! my granddaughter did that, only it ran down her legs into her wellies. Me and my son did a runner and left my poor daughter-in-law to deal with it.

Great aren't they?
I like the wellies slant on this...did it make a lovely squelching noise?....imitating your grandaughter a few seconds earlier?
Have you had the puke in the hair, running down your back one?
Christ...it was bloody awful.

Small jardon was feeling a bit dodgy..I had him over my shoulder...taking him for a bath- and he honked!
All over the back of my head...down my shirt..... then I honked..but managed to get it all down the loo!
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Post  Lord Edmund Moletrousers Sat Jun 09, 2012 6:38 pm

My dog is a serial farter. Could I get a government grant to have her corked?
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Post  Hugh Jardon Sat Jun 09, 2012 6:40 pm

Lord Edmund Moletrousers wrote:My dog is a serial farter. Could I get a government grant to have her corked?


you mean she drops her guts into the weetabix?

You should connect her to the gas grid....and collect a bit of the feed in tariff!
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Post  Lord Edmund Moletrousers Sat Jun 09, 2012 6:45 pm

Hugh Jardon wrote:


you mean she drops her guts into the weetabix?

You should connect her to the gas grid....and collect a bit of the feed in tariff!


She waits until I am nicely relaxed in my armchair, sits really close...and then lets rip. Strewth...a field full of cows couldn't produce such a volume of methane...and she's only a Jack Russell X Beagle.

Still: Hale and hearty]
Beans make you farty.
Sprouts do much the same.
If you let rip a winner
In the middle of dinner
Just say that the dog is to blame.
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Post  Hugh Jardon Sat Jun 09, 2012 6:54 pm

Lord Edmund Moletrousers wrote:


She waits until I am nicely relaxed in my armchair, sits really close...and then lets rip. Strewth...a field full of cows couldn't produce such a volume of methane...and she's only a Jack Russell X Beagle.

Still: Hale and hearty]
Beans make you farty.
Sprouts do much the same.
If you let rip a winner
In the middle of dinner
Just say that the dog is to blame.


lovely!

I let some crackers go in B&Q today...... I know, it's puerile but great fun all the same!
Another trick is to let one go near the boiler and ask the better half if they can smell gas?

Blazing Saddles has been on a few times this week.... still love the beans scene!
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Post  Mystic Moon Sat Jun 09, 2012 6:56 pm

Durham wrote:As i don't believe these lies on carbon.....I make an effort to make my carbon footprint as big as possible

Next I am getting one of those huge American style smokers built in the back garden - they look cool

Oh yeah, Reducing Ones Own Carbon Footprint... 1955600259
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Post  IlonaSong Sun Jun 10, 2012 4:15 am

Hugh Jardon wrote:

the crayon footprints aren't too bad.
It's the ones where a toddler has had an explosive shite and it's shot right up its back..down its legs is then walked all over the place..they are a bit of a 'mare!

Been there done that!................about 1 hour ago actually! To make it worse after having the explosive poo she sat in it for a while which then pushes it into places not designed for poo! Reducing Ones Own Carbon Footprint... 3181402168
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Post  Hugh Jardon Sun Jun 10, 2012 8:03 am

IlonaSong wrote:

Been there done that!................about 1 hour ago actually! To make it worse after having the explosive poo she sat in it for a while which then pushes it into places not designed for poo! Reducing Ones Own Carbon Footprint... 3181402168


you've been there and done that?

Ooh....
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Post  Lord Edmund Moletrousers Sun Jun 10, 2012 7:48 pm

IlonaSong wrote:

Been there done that!................about 1 hour ago actually! To make it worse after having the explosive poo she sat in it for a while which then pushes it into places not designed for poo! Reducing Ones Own Carbon Footprint... 3181402168

Ah, the delights of parenthood!
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Post  Flap Zappa Sun Jun 10, 2012 8:02 pm

NITS
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