Grandparents Secretly Starting To Hate The Little Shits

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Post  wyatt1 on Mon Sep 17, 2012 3:29 pm

GRANDPARENTS are finding their kindly exterior increasingly difficult to maintain, it has emerged.

'Get out of my house'
The Institute for Studies found that 78% of parents regularly lumber their parents with their offspring for extended periods, under the flimsy pretence that this is some sort of treat for all concerned.

But grandfather-of-two Roy Hobbs said: “My daughter rolls up most weekends with her kids. Sometimes she’s driven off before I can even answer the door, and there they are on the step with a broken robot toy and a Post-It note saying ‘Don’t let me eat insects’ stuck to the girl’s forehead.

“Naturally I smile warmly, pretend to like their terrible drawings and to be quite alright about having all my furniture covered with paste of semi-masticated Jaffa Cake.

“But clearly I’d rather be in the garage, making a cathedral with matchsticks and savouring some mildly racist thoughts while listening to a local radio documentary about eels.”

He added: “They call my wife and I ‘granpog’ and ‘nangle’. A thousand times I’ve told them my name is Roy, but do they listen? Do they f**k .

“My wife thinks it’s cute. But I’m a 77 year-old former civil engineer, not a hobbit.”

Retired headteacher Margaret Gerving, who has three grandchildren delivered regularly to her house, said: “It makes me feel young again. Like when I first had their mother, and was constantly exhausted and mopping up puke.

“I am so lucky to be able to relive that joy as an elderly lady with relatively little stamina and a house full of easily breakable objects.”

She added: “I tried to scare them away by showing them the original Salem’s Lot as a bedtime treat. Unfortunately it only succeeded in convincing them to start biting my legs.”


http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/grandparents-secretly-starting-to-hate-the-little-shits-201011173263?Itemid=81&id=3263&option=com_content&task=view


It's on the Web!!
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Post  guest .. on Mon Sep 17, 2012 3:35 pm

Easy fix for this dilema, get the grand kids to do chores around the home, no chores, no playsation, simple, they wont want to visit if they have to actually get out of a chair.

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Post  wyatt1 on Mon Sep 17, 2012 3:40 pm

MTC wrote:Easy fix for this dilema, get the grand kids to do chores around the home, no chores, no playsation, simple, they wont want to visit if they have to actually get out of a chair.

Ah, but wot about their inhuman rights?? Suspect
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Post  nicko on Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:26 pm

it's nice to see them come,but it's lovely see them go!!
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Post  Guest on Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:36 pm

I loathe children.

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Post  Tess on Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:43 pm

MTC wrote:Easy fix for this dilema, get the grand kids to do chores around the home, no chores, no playsation, simple, they wont want to visit if they have to actually get out of a chair.

Even easier fix, emigrate to Ireland.

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Post  Guest on Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:44 pm

@Tess wrote:

Even easier fix, emigrate to Ireland.

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Stop that.

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Post  Durham on Mon Sep 17, 2012 6:33 pm

Superb OP
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Post  jadeloue on Tue Sep 18, 2012 10:59 pm

my daughter thinks its my duty to care for her children at weekends now its only every other weekend (i fought back) love them to bits but she has the cheek to moan about them they are at school every day and sundays with me i get every other saturday off lucky me :shock:
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Post  Flap Zappa on Wed Sep 19, 2012 12:29 am

start charging the parents £6 an hour and they will stop bringing them.

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Post  wyatt1 on Wed Sep 19, 2012 1:01 pm

You all realize this was a spoof I hope. scratch
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Post  jadeloue on Wed Sep 19, 2012 11:31 pm

it might have been a spoof but its true love em to bits really
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Post  wyatt1 on Thu Sep 20, 2012 1:39 pm

@jadeloue wrote:it might have been a spoof but its true love em to bits really



Quite true Smile
But you can be accused of a 'phobe' or an 'ism' now if you happen to blink on a Monday. affraid affraid
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