DON'T ASK GOD TO PROVE HIMSELF, HE JUST MIGHT

A lawyer and two buddies were fishing on Caddo Lake in Texas when a lightning storm hit. Most of the other boats immediately headed for the shore, but not our friend the lawyer. Alone on the rear of his aluminum bass boat with his buddies, this individual stood up, spread his arms wide and shouted: "HERE I AM LORD, LET ME HAVE IT!" Needless to say, God delivered. The other two passengers on the boat survived the lightning strike with minor burns.

wyatt1 wrote:A lawyer and two buddies were fishing on Caddo Lake in Texas when a lightning storm hit. Most of the other boats immediately headed for the shore, but not our friend the lawyer. Alone on the rear of his aluminum bass boat with his buddies, this individual stood up, spread his arms wide and shouted: "HERE I AM LORD, LET ME HAVE IT!" Needless to say, God delivered. The other two passengers on the boat survived the lightning strike with minor burns.

Hmmm...do you think it was because he was a Texan or a lawyer?

A bishop and a retired army general were playing golf. The general was not, to be honest, very good at the game, particularly at putting, and after missing the hole he roared: "Damn, bugger and shit....missed again!"

"General," said the shocked bishop. "Please moderate your language. Remember that I am a man of the cloth."

"Sorry, bishop," said the general. "Won't happen again."

But next time his ball went wide the general roared: "Damn, bugger and shit...missed again."

"General," cried the bishop in anger. "I will not tell you again. I am a man of the cloth and I will not be offended by such foul language."

"Sorry, bishop" replied the chastened general. "It won't happen again. I promise."

Suddenly a storm brew up and the was a flash of lightning, striking the bishop who fell dead at the general's feet.

"Damn, bugger and shit" roared a mighty voice from on high. "Missed again!"

Lord Edmund Moletrousers wrote:A bishop and a retired army general were playing golf. The general was not, to be honest, very good at the game, particularly at putting, and after missing the hole he roared: "Damn, bugger and shit....missed again!"

"General," said the shocked bishop. "Please moderate your language. Remember that I am a man of the cloth."

"Sorry, bishop," said the general. "Won't happen again."

But next time his ball went wide the general roared: "Damn, bugger and shit...missed again."

"General," cried the bishop in anger. "I will not tell you again. I am a man of the cloth and I will not be offended by such foul language."

"Sorry, bishop" replied the chastened general. "It won't happen again. I promise."

Suddenly a storm brew up and the was a flash of lightning, striking the bishop who fell dead at the general's feet.

"Damn, bugger and shit" roared a mighty voice from on high. "Missed again!"

Lightning just struck

As Bill was approaching mid-life, physically he was a mess. Not only was he going bald, but years of office work had given him a large pot belly. The last straw came when he asked a woman co-worker out on a date, and she all but laughed at him. That does it, he decided. I'm going to start a whole new regimen. He began attending aerobics classes. He started working out with weights. He changed his diet. And he got an expensive hair transplant. In six months, he was a different man. Again, he asked his female co-worker out, and this time she accepted.

There he was, all dressed up for the date, looking better than he ever had. He stood poised to ring the woman's doorbell, when a bolt of lightning struck him and knocked him off his feet. As he lay there dying, he turned his eyes toward the heavens and said, "Why, God, why now? After all I've been through, how could you do this to me?"

From up above, there came a voice, "Sorry. I didn't recoginize you."