58 letter change a letter game

wyatt1 wrote:
I had that problem with the stairs Mr Wyatt, I moved to a bungalow  xxx



No wonder we had problems with the AtticCellar !! 

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” 

“A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. 

“Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

feelthelove wrote:

How rude Mr Wyatt!   

25 Things a Blonde says during sex.............

1. But everybody looks funny naked! 
2. You woke me up for that? 
3. Did I mention the video camera? 
4. But whipped cream makes me break out. 
5. (In the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour! 
6. I accept Visa? 
7. On second thought, let's turn off the lights. 
8. And to think I was really trying to pick up your friend! 
9. Hope you're as good- looking when I'm sober... 
10. (Holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!
11. This would be more fun with a few more people. 
12. You're almost as good as my ex! 
13. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs! 
14. (In a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work? 
15. No, really... I do this part better myself! 
16. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
17. I think you have it on backwards. 
18. When is this supposed to feel good? 
19. You're good enough to do this for a living! 
20. Is that blood on the headboard? 
21. Did I remember to take my pill? 
22. That leak better be from the waterbed!
23. I told you it wouldn't work without batteries! 
24. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed? 
25. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance. 

..............and no, it wasn't me!!! 

  (no it wasn't)

wyatt1 wrote:PS:  This is Not a Secret Section,   anyone can join in.  You don't have to be blonde or mad ... though it helps !! 

feelthelove wrote:

It isn't???!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

wyatt1 wrote:
Hi FTL  xxx 

How did you escape from the AtticCellar ???   I'm nicking and attaching  a  new lock !!! 


An escaped convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder, had spent 25 years of his life sentence in prison.  While on the run, he broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom.  He tied the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife on the bed.  He got on the bed right over the woman, and it appeared he was kissing her neck.  Suddenly he got up and left the room. As soon as possible the husband made his way across the room to his bride, his chair in tow, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw him kissing on your neck and then he left in a hurry. Just cooperate and do anything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Whatever you do don't fight him or make him mad. Our lives depend on it! Be strong and I love you." After spitting out the gag in her mouth, the half naked wife says: "Dear, I'm so relieved you feel that way. You're right, he hasn't seen a woman in years, but he wasn't kissing my neck....He was whispering in my ear. 
He said he thinks you're really cute and asked if we kept the Vaseline in the bathroom.  Be strong and I love you, too." 

We went to see a movie the other night 

 “No!” she said in a loud whisper. “The ‘TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE’ message just flashed up on the screen and mine is in the car.”  

feelthelove wrote:

Hello Mr Wyatt  xxx

Hope you and the kitties are well.  Me??! The attic cellar??? Have you heard of the red room of pain????    

We went to see a movie the other night 

I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier. 

Just as the feature was about to start, a blonde from the center of the row got up and started working her way out. “Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me.” 

By the time she got to me, I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient, so I said, “Couldn’t you have done this a little earlier?”

 “No!” she said in a loud whisper. “The ‘TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE’ message just flashed up on the screen and mine is in the car.”  

wyatt1 wrote:
Hi FTL, xxx    All  Livestock and Spidey doing well !!   



A young blonde secretary was describing her blind date to a friend. "After dinner," she said, "he wanted to come back to my apartment, but I refused. I told him my mother would worry if I did anything like that." "That was smart," her friend said, approvingly. "Then what happened?" "He kept insisting, and I kept refusing," the secretary said. "You didn't weaken your resolve, did you?" asked the friend. "Not one bit. In the end, we went to his apartment. I figured, let his mother worry." 

feelthelove wrote:

Hi Mr Wyatt   xxx

Glad everyone is ok.  Off on my travels again next week, can't wait  

Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!" The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?" 

wyatt1 wrote:
Hi FTL xxx   Got your RyanAirSubs  tickets ready ??     Don't cause an 

International incident like last time !!  




BLONDE: "Excuse me, what time is it right now?"

WOMAN: "It's 11:25PM."

BLONDE: (confused look on face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I've 


asked that question thirty times today, and every time someone gives me a 


different answer." 

             

feelthelove wrote:

Hello my Lovely Mr Wyatt   xxx

Hope you are all well.  Tickets, money, passport.....you won't believe how many times I will check they haven't mysteriously disappeared from my bag 

A young man finally got a date with the blonde female that lived in his apartment complex. 

To prepare for his big date, the young man went up on to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude. Unfortunately, the young man fell asleep while on the roof and managed to get sunburn on his “tool of the trade”. But, he was determined not to miss his date, so he put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze. 

The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and the young man treated her to a home cooked dinner, after which they went into the living room to watch a movie. 

During the movie, however, the young man’s sunburn started acting up again. He asked to be excused, went into the kitchen and poured a tall, cool glass of milk. He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experienced immediate relief of his pain. 

The blonde, however, wondering what he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to see him with his member immersed in a glass of milk. 


Upon seeing this, the blonde exclaimed, “So that’s how you guys load those things!”

             

wyatt1 wrote:


Hi FTL xxx 


Remember NO STREAKING this time !!!


A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. The golf pro saw her heading back and said, “You are back early, what’s wrong?” “I was stung by a bee!” she said. “Where?” he asked. “Between the first and second hole.” she replied. He nodded and said, “Your stance is far too wide.”

feelthelove wrote:

Afternoon Mr Wyatt  xxx

What no streaking???????????!! Where's the fun in that? 

Not even just a little one............ 

On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. 

He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet. 

The blonde asked, “How am I supposed to know when I’m at 300 feet?” 

“That’s a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground.” 

After pondering his answer, she asked, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?”

wyatt1 wrote:
Maybe a very little streak at night in the dark !!



Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown. She then goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.

"Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?"

The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. She blurts out "352!"

He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep.

"I'll take this one," she says proudly. "It's the cutest!"

"Hey lady," says the shepherd, "If I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"


  So that's where you got the puppy !! 

feelthelove wrote:


Hahahaha!!! Brilliant! No, it wasn't me honest  x

There was a woman who wanted to repaint her house, so she called the contractor and set an appointment to meet with him. When the contractor came to her house they did a walk-through and he asked her what colors she would like. 

They came to the living room and she told him that she would like a nice, warm cream color. The contractor wrote something down on his pad, then walked to the window and yelled, "Greenside up." 

The lady is a little confused, but doesn't say anything, and they continue to the dining room where she tells him, "I would like a nice warm white in here, nothing stark." The contractor writes something down on his pad, then walks to the window and again yells, "Greenside up!" 

The lady is really confused now but still does not say anything. They continue to her bedroom and she says, "I would like a nice, cool, relaxing blue in here." The contractor writes something on his pad and again walks to the window and yells, "Greenside up." 

The woman is now totally perplexed and says to the contractor, "Three times I have told you the color that I want, and you write something on your pad, then you walk to the window and yell greenside up. What is going on?" 

The contractor replies, "You see, I have four blondes laying turf across the street."

wyatt1 wrote:



A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?" She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."

 

feelthelove wrote:

Dustin and Jane (both blonde) were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby had come to an end. 

The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation. 


On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.

After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, “What ever possessed you to study Russian?” 

The couple said proudly, “We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he’ll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him.”


 

wyatt1 wrote:


Johnny was at school and the teacher said, "Someone use fascinate in a sentence." Sally answered, "The zoo was fascinating." The teacher said, "Sorry, Sally, I said to use fascinate in a sentence." Maria suggested, "I was fascinated at the zoo." Once again the teacher said, "No, Maria, I specifically said to use fascinate in a sentence." Johnny said, "My sister has ten buttons on her sweater." Again the teacher said, "Sorry, Johnny, I said use fascinate in a sentence." Johnny replied, "I know, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight."



She was blonde !!

feelthelove wrote:


Busty and blonde...............whatever next  x

A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour. So, when would you like to start?" "In three months."

So who's the blonde one???!!!

wyatt1 wrote:


A blonde has sharp pains in her side, so she goes to the hospital. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis."
The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."


Are you OK now ??

feelthelove wrote:

IT WASN'T ME!!!! It's good job I love you really  x

A blonde was sick and tired of people making fun of her for being a blonde, so she decided to hang herself. 

A couple minutes later two men walk by and see her hanging by her wrists. "What are you doing." they ask her. So she replies "Hanging myself." 

The men are confused and asked "If you are hanging youself, you put the rope around your neck." The blond says "Duh....I tried that, I couldn't breath."

wyatt1 wrote:
TeeeHeee, I warned you about that but you wouldn't listen !!!


Q: Why did the blonde become a big basketball fan?
A: Because every time they stopped the clock, she thought that she had stopped aging.

A blonde tried to shoot herself!