Post your One liners

Page 1 of 4 1, 2, 3, 4  Next

Go down

Post your One liners

Post  Guest on Tue Aug 06, 2013 10:53 pm


Q: What do you do with 365 used condoms?



A: Melt them into a tyre and call it a Good Year.

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  wyatt1 on Wed Aug 07, 2013 5:04 pm

@Costa wrote:
Q: What do you do with 365 used condoms?



A: Melt them into a tyre and call it a Good Year.
 Hi, Costa.


 Q: How do you save a lawyer from drowning ?

A:   Shoot him in the head !!
avatar
wyatt1
..........
..........

Posts : 10027

Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  Tess on Wed Aug 07, 2013 5:18 pm

50% of people think apathy is rife in Britain.

The other half don't really give a f**k
avatar
Tess
.........
.........

Posts : 8654
Location : The end of the rainbow

Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  boomerang on Wed Aug 07, 2013 6:05 pm

On a night out at a restaurant with Dean he was heard to say,

"I'll get the bill."

boomerang
.
.

Posts : 88

Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  Tess on Wed Aug 07, 2013 6:42 pm

Adrian Messenger wrote:On a night out at a restaurant with Dean he was heard to say,

"I'll get the bill."
... and Didge replied "are you suggesting I can't afford to pay for the meal? Is that because I'm black?"
avatar
Tess
.........
.........

Posts : 8654
Location : The end of the rainbow

Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  wyatt1 on Wed Aug 07, 2013 7:49 pm

Q: What's the definition of diplomacy?

A: The ability to tell a person to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.
avatar
wyatt1
..........
..........

Posts : 10027

Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  wyatt1 on Wed Aug 07, 2013 8:15 pm

British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!
avatar
wyatt1
..........
..........

Posts : 10027

Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  wyatt1 on Thu Aug 08, 2013 10:41 pm

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: 'I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.'
avatar
wyatt1
..........
..........

Posts : 10027

Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  wyatt1 on Sat Aug 10, 2013 9:53 pm

@wyatt1 wrote:A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: 'I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.'
 War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
avatar
wyatt1
..........
..........

Posts : 10027

Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  wyatt1 on Tue Aug 13, 2013 11:22 am

@wyatt1 wrote: War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
 Q:   What is a Myth ?


A:   A female Moth    !
avatar
wyatt1
..........
..........

Posts : 10027

Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  wyatt1 on Sun Aug 18, 2013 12:13 pm

I bought a pond full of carp from eBay for £100,
big mistake, what a load of shit!
The seller was dyslexic.   surprise 
avatar
wyatt1
..........
..........

Posts : 10027

Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  wyatt1 on Tue Oct 15, 2013 8:11 pm

20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs.
avatar
wyatt1
..........
..........

Posts : 10027

Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  feelthelove on Tue Oct 15, 2013 9:18 pm

Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theater?

They went to see “Closed for Winter”.   ROFL 
avatar
feelthelove
......
......

Posts : 3537

Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  wyatt1 on Tue Oct 15, 2013 9:23 pm

@feelthelove wrote:Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theater?

They went to see “Closed for Winter”.   ROFL 
4 and 20  virgins came down from Inverness .....   FACT!!!!   ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
avatar
wyatt1
..........
..........

Posts : 10027

Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  nicko on Tue Oct 15, 2013 10:39 pm

when they went home there were four and twenty
  less
avatar
nicko
.........
.........

Posts : 7646
Location : rainbow bridge

Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  gerber on Tue Oct 15, 2013 10:43 pm

@Tess wrote:... and Didge replied "are you suggesting I can't afford to pay for the meal? Is that because I'm black?"
Didge as always handed out knowlegable tips
avatar
gerber
.........
.........

Posts : 8931
Location : Not there

Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  feelthelove on Tue Oct 15, 2013 10:55 pm

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep  ROFL 
avatar
feelthelove
......
......

Posts : 3537

Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  gerber on Tue Oct 15, 2013 10:57 pm

@feelthelove wrote:Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep  ROFL 
Missed you FTL
avatar
gerber
.........
.........

Posts : 8931
Location : Not there

Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  feelthelove on Tue Oct 15, 2013 11:02 pm

@gerber wrote:Missed you FTL
You too Gorgeous Gerber I love you  xxx
avatar
feelthelove
......
......

Posts : 3537

Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  wyatt1 on Thu Oct 17, 2013 11:36 am

Hummingbirds are just regular birds that don't know the words.
avatar
wyatt1
..........
..........

Posts : 10027

Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  wyatt1 on Thu Oct 17, 2013 2:44 pm

@wyatt1 wrote:Hummingbirds are just regular birds that don't know the words.
Do spin-doctors finally disappear up their own ass.
avatar
wyatt1
..........
..........

Posts : 10027

Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  wyatt1 on Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:21 am

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
avatar
wyatt1
..........
..........

Posts : 10027

Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  Bert Assirati on Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:27 am

I never forget a face, but in your case I’d be glad to make an exception.

Said to Nems

Bert Assirati
......
......

Posts : 3739

Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  wyatt1 on Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:45 am

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.


ps: Good Morning Ulrich


Last edited by wyatt1 on Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:51 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : ps)
avatar
wyatt1
..........
..........

Posts : 10027

Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  Flap Zappa on Tue Nov 12, 2013 1:03 pm

bin

_______________________________________________________________________
Socialists never tire of spending other peoples money

To the twittersphere
if you wish to comment on this or any other thread then sign up and have your say in more than 140 characters. All political persuasions welcome

The Artist Formally Known As D555 - - Follow on twitter: @in_a_flap              
avatar
Flap Zappa
...........
...........

Posts : 37745
Location : village of the sun

http://inaflap.forumotion.co.uk

Back to top Go down

Re: Post your One liners

Post  Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 1 of 4 1, 2, 3, 4  Next

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum