Post your One liners

Guest Tue Aug 06, 2013 8:53 pm

Q: What do you do with 365 used condoms?

A: Melt them into a tyre and call it a Good Year.

wyatt1 Wed Aug 07, 2013 3:04 pm

Costa wrote:
Q: What do you do with 365 used condoms?

A: Melt them into a tyre and call it a Good Year.

Hi, Costa.

Q: How do you save a lawyer from drowning ?

A: Shoot him in the head !!

Tess Wed Aug 07, 2013 3:18 pm

50% of people think apathy is rife in Britain.

The other half don't really give a f**k

boomerang Wed Aug 07, 2013 4:05 pm

On a night out at a restaurant with Dean he was heard to say,

"I'll get the bill."

Tess Wed Aug 07, 2013 4:42 pm

Adrian Messenger wrote:On a night out at a restaurant with Dean he was heard to say,

"I'll get the bill."

... and Didge replied "are you suggesting I can't afford to pay for the meal? Is that because I'm black?"

wyatt1 Wed Aug 07, 2013 5:49 pm

Q: What's the definition of diplomacy?

A: The ability to tell a person to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.

wyatt1 Wed Aug 07, 2013 6:15 pm

British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!

wyatt1 Thu Aug 08, 2013 8:41 pm

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: 'I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.'

wyatt1 Sat Aug 10, 2013 7:53 pm

wyatt1 wrote:A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: 'I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.'

War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

wyatt1 Tue Aug 13, 2013 9:22 am

wyatt1 wrote: War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

Q: What is a Myth ?

A: A female Moth !

wyatt1 Sun Aug 18, 2013 10:13 am

I bought a pond full of carp from eBay for £100,

big mistake, what a load of shit!

The seller was dyslexic. surprise

wyatt1 Tue Oct 15, 2013 6:11 pm

20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs.

feelthelove Tue Oct 15, 2013 7:18 pm

Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theater?

They went to see “Closed for Winter”.

wyatt1 Tue Oct 15, 2013 7:23 pm

feelthelove wrote:Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theater?

They went to see “Closed for Winter”.

4 and 20 virgins came down from Inverness ..... FACT!!!! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

nicko Tue Oct 15, 2013 8:39 pm

when they went home there were four and twenty
less

gerber Tue Oct 15, 2013 8:43 pm

Tess wrote:... and Didge replied "are you suggesting I can't afford to pay for the meal? Is that because I'm black?"

Didge as always handed out knowlegable tips

feelthelove Tue Oct 15, 2013 8:55 pm

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep

gerber Tue Oct 15, 2013 8:57 pm

feelthelove wrote:Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep

Missed you FTL

feelthelove Tue Oct 15, 2013 9:02 pm

gerber wrote:Missed you FTL

You too Gorgeous Gerber I love you

xxx

wyatt1 Thu Oct 17, 2013 9:36 am

Hummingbirds are just regular birds that don't know the words.

wyatt1 Thu Oct 17, 2013 12:44 pm

wyatt1 wrote:Hummingbirds are just regular birds that don't know the words.

Do spin-doctors finally disappear up their own ass.

wyatt1 Tue Nov 12, 2013 8:21 am

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Bert Assirati Tue Nov 12, 2013 8:27 am

I never forget a face, but in your case I’d be glad to make an exception.

Said to Nems

wyatt1 Tue Nov 12, 2013 8:45 am

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

ps: Good Morning Ulrich

Flap Zappa Tue Nov 12, 2013 11:03 am

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